Relationship with Money
The Scarcity We Inherited
Think about your childhood. What do you remember about money?
Was it abundance? Was it freedom? Was it possibilities?
Or was it something else?
For most of us, it was scarcity. That constant, nagging scarcity that colored every decision, every desire, every dream.
Parents' Teachings About Money
What did your parents teach you about money?
"Paise ped pe nahi lagte" (Money doesn't grow on trees)
"Bahut kharcha hai" (It's too expensive)
"Save, don't overspend"
These weren't just words. These were programming instructions being written directly into your brain's operating system.
Remember the fights in families because of money? Those late-night arguments you pretended not to hear? The tension that filled the house when bills arrived? Many frustrating moments in your childhood, and the reason was always the same—money.
Limited life choices. Limited opportunities. Limited dreams. All because of limited money.
What Society Taught Us About Money
Step outside your home. What did you see?
People arguing in public places for money. That autorickshaw driver fighting with a passenger over ₹10. That vegetable vendor and customer haggling over ₹5.
What else did society teach us?
Money brings power. Watch how the MLA's son walks into a police station.
Money brings respect. Notice how shopkeepers' behavior changes when someone steps out of a Mercedes.
Money brings girlfriends. See how dating profiles mention "well-settled" as the first requirement.
Money buys luxury. Money, money, money—everywhere you look, everything screams money.
The Treatment Differential
We've all seen it. How people were treated based on the amount of money they have.
Have money? King treatment. "Sir, please come this way." "Would you like some water?" "Let me handle that for you."
No money? Neglected. Invisible. "Wait in line." "Rules are rules." "Come back tomorrow."
The same person, the same need, but completely different treatment. Why? The money in their pocket.
The Corruption of Values
We see how corruption prevails. How has money reached that state in our mind where dignity, respect, kindness, self-respect, honor, pride, care-nature—everything is gone?
People believe having money is all they need!
A teacher takes tuition money to pass a failing student. A doctor recommends unnecessary surgery for commission. A policeman takes bribes to ignore crimes. A government clerk won't move files without "chai-paani."
Where did our values go? They were sold. For money.
The Making of Money Chasers
How did we slowly turn into money chasers?
That constant need. That emotional feed. That continuous frustration of limited choices.
Remember that scolding you got for losing ₹10 in childhood? It wasn't about the ₹10. It was about what that ₹10 represented—scarcity.
That dinner at your favorite restaurant which was missed because of money. That movie with friends you couldn't join because of money. That dream holiday plan which continuously gets postponed because of money. That dream car remaining a poster on your wall. That dream house staying a dream.
Everything, continuously and constantly, making us money-chasing robots since childhood.
As humans, we learn from our surroundings, from parents, from school, from experiences—and everything teaches us the same thing: MONEY IS ABOVE EVERYTHING!
How Money Chasing Affects Decision Making
There is a saying in my village: "Zameen bechkar jo paisa aata hai wo kabhi rukta nahi hai, aur insaan ko barbaad kar deta hai" (Money that comes from selling land never stays, and it ruins the person).
You see, we as humans are ultimate beings. But instead of understanding the depth, we tend to create superficial thoughts and quotes. Like "naseeb mein hi nahi tha" (it wasn't in my fate), "time hi kharab chal raha hai" (times are bad), etc.
What actually happens because of this type of thinking?
We transfer accountability and responsibility to something which is not in our control, and send signals to our brain that it was something about which nothing could have been done as it was out of our control. This is the trick to feel good, to be at ease, at physical and mental level.
Why Instant Money Isn't Fruitful
We have been seeing the emotional connection with money since childhood. We were only dreaming, and we never learnt rational decision making or money psychology.
So, when we get any amount of money which is out of our expectations, basic calculations, we see that as a treasure using which all the dreams will be achieved right away. We find ourselves powerful, we see people following us, talking about us, and that feeling fuels more emotional decisions.
The dream home starts getting built right after selling land. The dream car gets bought. The dream holiday destination is now a reality. As emotional as we are, we continue to spend it, feeding the emotional needs.
And soon, we find that the money is now GONE!
And now we are the same as what we were earlier. Why? What changed? The Money!
When we had it, it felt like we are the king. When it ended, it felt like there is nothing left for us in this world. So, what is the way to bring that power and feeling again? Yes, Sell more LAND!
And the cycle continues, until we reach a point where there is no more land to sell.
We as a society judge those people negatively, but never care to ask: "Did anyone teach us about money psychology or emotional management?"
If NOT, then how can a person act rationally when their whole life it was emotions which were riding the horse of their life's journey?
Money: The Most Important Part of Life?
This has resulted in our brain accepting money as paramount and acting defensively when the matter is about money. Emotions get activated when it is about money.
Friendships getting destroyed because of money. Lives getting ruined because of money. Crimes because of money. Relationships and families getting destroyed because of money. Relationships building because of money.
The Quotes That Program Us
What quotes do we hear related to money?
"Dosti mein paisa beech mein laoge to dosti se haath dho baithoge" (Bring money into friendship and you'll lose the friendship)
"Paisa aaya relationship gaya" (Money came, relationship went)
"Sab khel paise ke hain bhai" (It's all a money game, brother)
"Jab jeb mein paisa hai tabhi log puchte hain kaisa hai" (People ask how you are only when you have money in your pocket)
"Paise ki hi izzat hai" (Only money gets respect)
"Paisa agar bhagwan nahi hai to bhagwan se kam bhi nahi hai" (If money isn't God, it's not less than God either)
So on and so forth.
This is the conditioning and training which we got since our childhood about money. There is no other single thing for which we received such level of conditioning. Hence, in our mind, this is the most important part of our life.
When any matter is related to money, most of the time we handle the matter emotionally—trust, fear, greed, etc. But never logically!
The Trading Terminal Paradox
So, the question arises: When everything trained you to praise money, when you act impulsively and emotionally when money is the matter, when more than 95% of decisions you take about money are either based on habits or emotions, then how can you expect your logical brain to get instantly activated during trading and investing when the market opens, and then it gets shut at market close and you go back to behaving in the same emotional and habitual way as you were doing in the past?
The Emotional Manipulation Economy
It is interesting to note:
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All marketing campaigns hit emotions—That is how you take money-related decisions.
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All builders sell dream homes—Absolutely with emotional triggers.
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Every advertisement sells feelings—Not products, but the emotions attached to them.
They know you don't buy logically. You buy emotionally and justify logically later.
The Interview Trap
And above all, the companies which sell dreams, emotions, and all, because that is the basis on which people are ready to spend money, when you go for an interview, it would not be wrong to assume that this is the universal answer: "Never talk about salary or how much you want, always say as per company policies."
Do you know why this is an agenda?
To bind you within your own words which you say during the interview. When they put work pressure on you, and you realize this much work for this salary, but you cannot say anything to manager or HR, because during the interview you said, "I am not a money-minded person, and I am looking for learning and growth opportunities rather than salary against the work taken"!
The Market Reality Check
Here in this article also, we discussed lots of things. The objective isn't to dictate anything, rather it is to let you ask questions, let you critically analyze your programming, to shake the foundation of those behaviors.
We can talk about markets, but that would be the same as teaching medical books to a 5th class student.
First, we need to develop an understanding of different perspectives, our nature, our actions, our decisions.
Can you imagine someone teaching or learning about making a trading decision at 10 AM, or as per a particular chart pattern, when they don't know anything about the decision-making process?
The Emotional Roller Coaster
Can you imagine someone buying and holding a trade or stock in market volatility, seeing their positions turning red and green many times within a second, and every time the position changes, the mind keeps on alert mode:
What should I do? Should I hold? Should I exit? Should I partially exit? This is too much loss. I am getting 100 rupees, let's exit. Oh wait, what if it goes up? But what if not?
And now the profit is turned into loss, and the thinking and questions in the brain continue—many conscious questions, and hundreds of subconscious questions within minutes.
And for all questions, you have given answers in the same way, and with every tick you take a decision to hold, exit, partial exit, update stoploss, update target, etc.
With so much going on in mind, think about someone talking that strategies will result in success. Isn't it funny?
The Journey We're Taking
The process which we are following is a journey reshaping your thoughts, behavior, habits, thinking process, decision-making process, so that when you enter the market, you won't be a noob who is learning how to drive for the first time.
You will be a pro, who is habitual of logical decisions, who can analyze anything around him, who knows their own and others' emotions, who understands patterns, who has many perspectives, and who executes based on probabilities because of which his stability will never be disturbed, as he is prepared for all outcomes from the trade or investment.
What's Next?
In the next article, we will open our perspectives and explore everything around us. That article is going to cover a lot of things.
We will see how we as humans behave collectively, how herd mentality shapes markets, how our professional choices reflect our conditioning, and how our society's approach creates the very volatility we struggle to navigate.
Key Takeaways
- Childhood scarcity programs adult money behavior—Every financial decision carries echoes of early experiences
- Society reinforces emotional money relationships—From parents to advertisements, everything conditions us emotionally
- Values get corrupted by money chase—Dignity, respect, and honor get sold for monetary gains
- Instant money without wisdom leads to ruin—Emotional spending depletes unearned wealth quickly
- 95% of money decisions are emotional or habitual—Logic rarely enters financial choices
- Trading requires complete behavioral rewiring—You cannot trade logically while living emotionally
Reflection Questions
Write your answers to these:
- What was your first memory of money scarcity?
- Which parent quotes about money still echo in your mind?
- How many of your recent purchases were emotional vs. logical?
- What amount of trading loss makes your heart rate increase?
- Can you separate your identity from your bank balance?
Your Money Psychology Audit
Complete these sentences:
- When I see profit, I feel...
- When I see loss, I think...
- Money means...
- Without money, I am...
- Rich people are...
These answers reveal your programming. We'll work on reprogramming in Module 3.